Past dating life

Well, m gonna tell u guys & girls a secret (which is not goin to be a 'secret' anymore) about me when i started dating. and i have a great confession to make in which i have regretted during my past dating life. And my motives of dating was untrue and objectively unright, in which i will touch on that later.
I actually had 4 x-gfs before, 1st one was when i was 7 and she was 8 (yes...i knw). And my first kiss was when i was 7 too (yes i knw too....stop laughing!), n yea ofcoz she is the one who kissed me. The 1st one was the best among the 4, infact the 1st one is when i learned the most. Unproudly i wanna confess that i dumped all of them because i jumped in too quickly and found that its a "bottomless pit", except the 1st one, she left by moving back to Taiwan.

But anyway, my point is that when i was very young.... i already had a great desire to get married... n for me, at that time... was a 'taboo' for me to get married at 30yrs old. If you ask me, 'how can u hav such a desire' ? I will genuinely, frankly answer 'i hav no idea'. I indeed I also have (almost countless) one sided unconfessed infatuations (puppy "in-love"), and still am having it(pls dun be surprised, jz a heads up). I had many heart breaks before, sampai almost numb adi liao. Some, is when i was in infatuation, that girl liked someone else and manage to get that guy for themselves. Some is...u get the drift! I have also, spoke to many experienced ones, read a few books, listened to many audio sermons and talks, and have found a many of common conclusion about every 17 year olds dating intentions...and regretfully was mine too.
The conclusion is that unless you have strong experiences, right mentalities, attitudes, principles, 'maybe' even strong and right childhood training and disciplines. Every 17yr (not just 17!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls read between the lines) old guys AND girls' intentions of starting a BGR (boy-girl-relationship)/date is just to satisfy guys' sexual needs and girls' emotional needs.

Some guys i knw do fall into the emotional needs, and some girls do as well fall into the sexual needs too. But mostly, the guys always has sexual needs and girls, the emotional needs. And many of some of us (especially me) teenagers, think that we all already "know" all this that "we will not get hurt" if we actually start a BGR. And there is heart breaks after heart breaks, and even some of us lost our virginity!!! (I am a still virgin thank God for His discipline)

The FACT is, we think we know but we REALLY don't know, let me repeat again WE REALLY DON"T KNOW!!! WE DON'T!!!
I told u its gonna be rough....!

Let me touch on the 'needs' of both sexes and see why it is actually true.

Lets start with the guys (girls, u wont like this). The sexual need. Scientifically speaking, the male's peak period of sexual drive is during puberty and during teenage period. During puberty, testosterone develops rapidly and find it hard to control and contain it (girls, pls understand this), and always will fantasize about having sex with a girl by "detailed" imaginations. Does this sound familiar kar? Well it should, cause Jesus said so,

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a womanlustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Matthew 5:28 (NIV)

Spiritually speaking yeah, sexual desperation can actually consume one sense of right and wrong. So girls... You've been raped...........in heart. And girls, no matter how or what happens, generally when a boy approaches u (trying to date u), the boy can only think through his penis. Even the nice ones!!! And would willing to say anything, or whisper anything to your ear to get laid including "I want to marry u" or "I will never ever,ever,ever....(101 times) stop loving you"....but thank God, christian boys...hahaha....alot better i would say because of the influence of the church, and also because of Pastor Tom. XD!!! Sorry guys, yes offense!!

Well, i must admit... im not a girl, but i managed to talk to some. For the girls (generally), are the emotional needs. A need to be felt loved (especially u have lost your father), a need to feel beautiful, a need to feel secure and comprehended, a need to express yourself wholely to the person who supports you especially when u are sad, to be cared and concerned, to be held warmly by a 'man', and etc...I could go on till they banne me from Blogger.

You see, guys can have sex without the emotional aspect, but girls... you need to feel loved by the "man" in order to "make love" to him. And thats basically the main reason that you fall into a relationship, you want to feel loved, and would sometimes...do "anything" to feel loved.

Its not that sex is not important, but infact you enjoy sex more than a guy can enjoy (trust me on this one, i've done my research!). And girls, boys do know this... and would use this to our advantage to get what we 'need'. So please, for Jesus' sake, and do us guys a favor... pls don't accept a boy like us who is still immature.

For most of you who have great emotional needs. Once he/she gets what he/she needs/doesn't get what he/she needs because of your refusal, he dumps you, but u still love him/her...then how?? You all DO know what i mean, it tears u apart!!!!

















Back to the girls.
You think you can find emotional security from a boy who plays PS II and thinks he can play a grown up game called "sex"??!!! What you need is not a boy, but a man who can take care of himself and futurely you, financially, spiritually, responsibly, in purity, and u can name some more. A man that considers your purity his priority!!!
But ofcoz not all guys, just merely want sex, there are some who search for the "One" by using dating as a test pen, and when he finds out that if the girl she is dating is not the one, then... he says goodbye... and the girl leh??

Its near to the end now, for me... i regrettedly have my part to play in spoiling other girls lives... and they in turn have their own part in spoiling mine too (you can ask me yourself about it). For me personally, i am more towards the emotional needs than to the sexual needs. And i m someone who always look out for the "one", and i must learn to place my trust in God.

So lets continue to put our trust in Him for our future spouses, only He can give you your perfect match. Apart from all these knowledge now, let us ask God for wisdom to put it into practice, and for those who have been practicing and feel like giving up... lets perservere with self-control and discipline. And lets shift all of our focus to focus on Jesus alone and pursue righteousness, purity, godliness, virtueness, and the Will of God in our lives. I have just recovered from depression of loneliness, because it has indeed dawned upon me to shift my focus on Him.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

STAY STRONG my friends!